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Folks don’t have a problem with a chick putting her silicone-filled titties in an American Flag bikini or a dude putting his sweaty man meat in an American Flag banana hammock. At picnics, people laugh and swiftly pelt bags of corn kernels at American Flag cornhole boards while other people sit their gassy asses in American Flag lawn chairs and wipe the excess mayonnaise from their greedy, greasy mouths with American Flag napkins. Without thought, folks wipe their muddy boots on American Flag doormats. Some people let their their dirty, flea-ridden dogs lay on American Flag doggie beds. Folks walk on American Flag rugs while wearing American Flag flip flops. People throw their snotty tissues and yellowed q-tips and bloody dental floss in American Flag trash cans. And, why, if that trash can is not big enough for you, there’s American Flag trash dumpsters! And parents, if your baby has awful, green diarrhea, never fear because you can purchase sturdy super absorbent American Flag diapers. Adults, don’t feel left out! You can wipe your gross, crap stained, hemorrhoid-covered holes with American Flag toilet paper! Many companies sell American Flag bedding and folks lay on them night after night and they exfoliate and bleed and drool and sleep and sweat and have hot, wet sex on those Stars and Stripes. And last but most certainly not least, when you really want to be filled with patriotism, there’s an giant American Flag dildo!

But I guess these are all ways of honoring our soldiers, right?

People’s outrage with the kneeling football players has nothing to do with the flag and everything to do with racism.


Full stop.