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When I was a wee little boy, I developed an unexplainable bedtime habit of folding the edge of my blanket into a point and gently caressing it on my teeny tiny little fingers. Night after night, I’d softly rub that point until it was dull and the fabric was worn. Then, I’d move on to another section of the blanket’s edge and fold it, too, and so on and so forth until the entire top side of the poor blanket looked like it had been gnawed on by a giant moth.

I’d like to say that I grew out of this habit, but I did this well into my teenage years, the habit so deeply embedded in my psyche that I was fingering my blanket edges in my sleep. At some point, though, I did break the habit because I certainly don’t do now. No, no, in my adult years, I’ve taken to running my restless fingers across something far more stimulating.

My eyebrows.

I don’t know when this new off-shoot of my childhood habit began. Whenever I’m stressed or bored or watching a movie or reading a book or gabbing on the phone, I use my thumb to push my eyebrow up and then I use the rest of my fingers to lovingly fondle my eyebrows, like I’m delicately petting a cute little caterpillar.

I once had robust, bushy eyebrows! I’d get them threaded, and the exasperated brow beautician would have to use half a spool of thread! But now, thanks to my constant finger-friction, the middle of my brows are thinning, and it looks like I intentionally shaved stripes right down the center of them, sort of like Vanilla Ice.

A cosmetologist friend recommended applying castor oil to my eyebrows to help them grown back. I’ve been doing it religiously for over a week now. I wasn’t too sure that the castor oil was working until last night when I accidentally got some on my forehead, and this morning, I awoke to find a single hair, about half an inch long, growing from the middle of my forehead. Perhaps I can submerge my entire face in the gooey elixir and become a full blown werewolf! Regardless. I’m happy to know that the oil works and I’m looking forward to having normal eyebrows again.

Of course, I also have to stop touching, tickling, and thrashing them so much. So, please, scold me and smack my hands if you see me absentmindedly finger banging my eyebrows.