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MY NAME IS DITA…

I was 19 years old when Madonna’s Erotica album was released, 25 years ago this past Friday. I had hair then – bangs, even! I worked part time at a Musicland in a tiny shopping mall and indulged in a consuming obsession with all things Madonna. I had also just...

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VIDEO: THE SAFETY PIN BOX

My Dear Fellow White Folks, I’ve received quite a few DM’s from y’all over the last few days, asking for advice on how to be a good ally in the movement to dismantle and destroy white supremacy. I am not an expert. I’m learning new things every single day. I’d say,...

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LICKETY SPLIT

On my way to the office this morning, I saw a man lick a parking meter. Then a street sign pole. Then a crosswalk signal pole. Then a streetlight pole. He didn’t appear to be crazy or anything. Dressed in khakis and a crisp button-up, he gripped a leather attaché case...

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YUMMY SNACK DADDY

I had a torrid, passionate affair with a handsome Frito Lay delivery man in the bodega this morning, only he doesn’t know it. We first exchanged glances as I was on line — I had just ordered from the deli counter (a pretentious turkey bacon and egg white sandwich on a...

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YOU’RE A GRAND OLE FLAG

Folks don’t have a problem with a chick putting her silicone-filled titties in an American Flag bikini or a dude putting his sweaty man meat in an American Flag banana hammock. At picnics, people laugh and swiftly pelt bags of corn kernels at American Flag cornhole...

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MY DEAR FELLOW WHITE FOLKS, PART THREE

My Dear Fellow White Folks, I've received quite a few DM's from y'all over the last few days, asking for advice on how to be a good ally in the movement to dismantle and destroy white supremacy. I am not an expert. I'm learning new things every single day. I'd say,...

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DEAR WHITE GAY DUDES

So many of my fellow white gays are OUTRAGED by the white supremacist terror attack in Charlottesville, yet we: -were cry babies when Philly introduced a new gay pride flag with black and brown stripes. -adamantly defended reBar, an NYC gay bar that has faced numerous...

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RESIST!

"Hey, Tyler," reads a recent email I received. "Stick to posting the juvenile attention-seeking underwear pics and stay out of politics. All that you're doing is discrediting yourself. No one cares what a slutty, aging, frump bag of a queer has to say."  Resist #45....

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DISTRACTION ACTION

The transgender military ban is a distraction from healthcare reform! Healthcare reform is a distraction from Russia! Russia is a distraction from the tweets! The tweets are a distraction from the wall! The wall is a distraction from the Boy Scouts speech! The Boy...

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THE ACTIVIST MOMMY IS NOT A CHRISTIAN

This Jesus-loving, Bible-thumping woman is obsessed with the LGTQ community. OBSESSED. Her Facebook page is filled with anti-gay post after anti-gay post. In all my life, I've never seen a woman more concerned about where I'm putting my dick. Ironically, she mentions...

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