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MY DATE WITH A NARCOLEPTIC
My date with Ethan started out simple enough. We met on a horribly frigid Saturday night at Cowgirl in the West Village for martinis and fried chicken. Ethan’s Scruff profile did not do him justice. In person, he was, in my opinion, stunningly handsome. I discreetly wiped my runny nose with the back of my [...]
ROMANCE ON THE UPTOWN 1 TRAIN
When I boarded at Christopher Street, the uptown 1 train was unusually crowded for a late Monday night. I drunkenly shuffled through the crowded car until I found available space near a pole and held on for dear life as the train lurched forward. Next to me, a drowsy, fat Hispanic man with long, dirty [...]
MY DATE WITH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL
Solomon showed up to Pastis for our date without his wallet. “I’m sorry,” he said, wiping sweat from his brow. “I rushed here after work and didn’t have time to stop by my apartment and get it.” “Oh,” I said, side-eyeing him. Solomon was an aspiring model yet somehow, instead of ending up on the [...]
CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEARTED SLUT: SICK DAY
I called out sick to work, but I wasn’t really sick. I just didn’t feel like schlepping all the way to Brooklyn and dealing with Boss Lady’s bullshit. I had intended to be productive. Maybe I’d write some more pages for my book. Maybe I’d clean out my closet. Maybe I’d go for a long, [...]
CONFESSIONS OF A BROKEN HEARTED SLUT
I am a creature of habit. Every morning, I roll out of bed at exactly the same time, seven o’clock. I take a dump, take a shower, eat two egg whites, gulp down a liter of Fiji water, brush my teeth, take Lola out to pee and then I’m out the door for work by [...]
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