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THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE

Yesterday, I packaged up a table linen swatch to mail to a client. I neatly addressed the envelope and got it stamped by the mail machine in the accounting office and, distracted, forgot to leave the envelope with the outgoing mail. I took it back upstairs to my... read more

FAQ!

Q: “Tyler, do I need to read your previous three books to know what’s going on in the new book?” A: Well, it’d certainly help. The books are serialized in the sense that each book covers a year of life, starting with 2005. It’s not absolutely... read more

“WE ARE ALL ADULTS”

I had a nice first date last week with a handsome thirty seven year old corporate trainer for a trendy hotel chain. We had dinner at a sidewalk cafe in Hell’s Kitchen and after, took a meandering stroll around the neighborhood and made out on a street corner... read more

A CONVERSATION WITH MATTHEW JOHNSON HARRIS

A couple of years ago, I took a long, hard look in the mirror and I did not like what I saw. I was, by Weight Watchers’ definition, obese. I had Doritos crumbs on my shirt, chocolate smeared on my face and I smelled like chicken nuggets. I couldn’t even... read more

MAGIC MAN

Do you believe in magic? I never thought I did until I found myself in the second row of a very small and intimate magic show on a Saturday night. I sat in the dimly lit room and watched as the mysterious magician astounded the captive audience with card tricks and... read more

NEXT

The older I get, the more settled I’d like to become but it seems the older I get, the faster things change. Everything is in constant flux. Madonna once sang that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. I thought the summer of 2014 was full of... read more

MY #WHITEPRIVILEGE

Recently, a person I went to high school with posted a Facebook status, calling Michelle Obama a ‘jackass’ and a ‘racist bitch’ because of the recent commencement speech she gave in which she offered some frank thoughts on racism. The comments... read more

CLEANING LOLA

Every other Saturday I trim Lola’s nails and give her a bath. She HATES it. Before I even get out her nail clippers and her melon-scented doggy shampoo, it’s like she can sense it’s about to happen and she runs and hides just her head under a... read more

YOUNG JAWNS AND MAN BUNS

I don’t remember this photograph being taken. In fact, I have no idea where I was or what was happening. I know that dude, yes, but not well enough to ask him where we were without feeling like a buffoon. I found this photo on my phone. I apparently even took... read more

BLISTERS AND DUCT TAPE

When Phillip​ was packing for his big move to San Francisco, he gave me a pair of Kenneth Cole boots that he no longer wanted. I tried them on and they were a smidge tight but I was like, “Whatever, I’ll make them work.” On Thursday, I had an... read more