The Life and Times of Totally Tyler

The suspicion that I am a freak magnet was confirmed when Aphrodite and Moses hired me to plan their wedding. I don’t attract the good kind of freaks, like the ones who get freaky-deaky in the bedroom. I attract the kind of freaks who eat dog food or trim their toenails on the subway. When [...]

It’s standing room only on a downtown 2 Train. I am wedged against the wall and I chuckle to myself as I watch other standing passengers jockeying for a seat. Much like trying to find a parking space at the mall during holiday season, people hover around a seated passenger who looks like they might be getting up.

Sometimes, in an effort to keep my readers entertained, I subject myself to some unique and often uncomfortable experiences, which aren’t that hard to find if you’re a single gay man looking for love in New York City.

Its not like I don’t try to date. I met The Record Producer while in line at the Apple Store in Chelsea. He had luscious lips and long eyelashes. We shared a flawless, flirty conversation that sparked and crackled like a newly-lit firework.

It occurred to me while I was tied to The Dancer’s bed that I was about to break my new ‘no sex’ rule. Oh well, I thought, playfully tugging at the three feet of rope that snaked around my wrists.