Select Page

WHITE PEOPLE ARE GARBAGE

Unlike statements like “I am bald” or “I take the subway to work,” when I say, “white people are garbage,” it is a nuanced statement, layered with different meanings and intentions. When I say that white people are garbage, I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings....

read more

DON’T TALK TO DADDY THAT WAY

Guys In Their Early 20’s: “Tyler! Wyd, wyd, omg, daddy! lol, wyd, take me on a date, meme, lol, buy me new shoes, lol, wyd, I like older guys, lol, giggle, meme, wyd, pay my rent, lol, daddy, daddy, daddy, wyd, lol, wyd, wyd, wyd, who’s this Madonna woman?” Guys In...

read more

THANKSGIVING IS A BULLSHIT HOLIDAY

-That warm, fuzzy story about pilgrims and Native Americans happily sitting down together for a big, home cooked meal? Yeah, that never happened. At all. -In the early 1600's, Thanksgiving was not a yearly holiday. It originated as an occasional celebration white...

read more

ELECTION NIGHT

I was so happy on Election Day! I was teeming with a surefire confidence that Dumpster Trumpster was not going to win the election. I did spirited cartwheels all the way to my neighborhood polling station and literally duck walked out of the booth after...

read more

THE ART OF THE APOLOGY

Let’s say that you’re out on a romantic date with a um, certain handsome bald, bearded man. And let’s say that you decide to crack a joke at the bald, bearded man’s expense. (Well, you think it’s a joke, but really, it’s a passive aggressive dig that has no...

read more

MY NAME IS DITA…

I was 19 years old when Madonna’s Erotica album was released, 25 years ago this past Friday. I had hair then – bangs, even! I worked part time at a Musicland in a tiny shopping mall and indulged in a consuming obsession with all things Madonna. I had also just...

read more

VIDEO: THE SAFETY PIN BOX

My Dear Fellow White Folks, I’ve received quite a few DM’s from y’all over the last few days, asking for advice on how to be a good ally in the movement to dismantle and destroy white supremacy. I am not an expert. I’m learning new things every single day. I’d say,...

read more

LICKETY SPLIT

On my way to the office this morning, I saw a man lick a parking meter. Then a street sign pole. Then a crosswalk signal pole. Then a streetlight pole. He didn’t appear to be crazy or anything. Dressed in khakis and a crisp button-up, he gripped a leather attaché case...

read more

YUMMY SNACK DADDY

I had a torrid, passionate affair with a handsome Frito Lay delivery man in the bodega this morning, only he doesn’t know it. We first exchanged glances as I was on line — I had just ordered from the deli counter (a pretentious turkey bacon and egg white sandwich on a...

read more

YOU’RE A GRAND OLE FLAG

Folks don’t have a problem with a chick putting her silicone-filled titties in an American Flag bikini or a dude putting his sweaty man meat in an American Flag banana hammock. At picnics, people laugh and swiftly pelt bags of corn kernels at American Flag cornhole...

read more