The Life and Times of Totally Tyler

Phillip is singing in the shower. Well, not really singing. I’m not sure what it could be called. It’s more like a series of high-pitched Doo-Doo-Doo’s and an occasional Wee-Wee-Wee. Just when I think the song is over, he shouts, “Fat Pig’ll sing it again!” And then he does. I roll my eyes but I’m [...]

Back when I had hair, I wanted to be a pretentious snob. It was the mid 90’s and I was renting the spare bedroom in the apartment owned by Kelvin and Andrew, a gay couple that I met on the dance floor at Club One in Savannah. Kelvin and Andrew were furniture designers. They filled [...]

Back when I had hair, I lived with a gay couple that used Q-Tips to fuck their cats when they were in heat. I didn’t know this when I moved in, of course. It was the mid 90s and I needed a place to live.

For a while, Buck was a mystery. Kind of like Bigfoot. He would barrel through the store, tripping on his shoelaces and barking out orders, leaving torn envelopes, smashed VHS boxes, and fear in his wake.

Back when I had hair, I was the manager of a mom n’ pop video store-slash-newsstand called Slam Dunk. Nestled among the stately mansions of historic downtown Savannah, Slam Dunk was in the basement of a quaint brownstone on a street lined with towering oaks that dripped with Spanish moss.