The Life and Times of Totally Tyler

Its not like I don’t try to date. I met The Record Producer while in line at the Apple Store in Chelsea. He had luscious lips and long eyelashes. We shared a flawless, flirty conversation that sparked and crackled like a newly-lit firework.

Within seconds, I see a giant wrecking ball is swinging directly towards the floor-to-ceiling window at which I stand. I drop my blueberry lemondrop martini and turn to run.

I put down my martini, close my laptop and slide onto the leather sofa. I snatch the Times out of The Professor’s hand. He smiles and pulls me towards him until we are spooning. He whispers silly dirty things in my ear and occasionally tickles me and kisses my neck.

If you will, a modern and urban twist on The American Dream:
Instead of a cute house with a white picket fence on a tree-shaded avenue, imagine a spacious loft in a New York City high-rise with a spectacular view of the city’s glittering skyline. Instead of a large backyard with a dog and 2.5 children, picture a rooftop pool.

I must have been way tipsier than I thought because The Professor seemed to walk towards me in slow motion. Questions raced through my mind: Why does The Professor like me? What does he see in me?